better

old songs like "cry in my heart," "heart of worship," "give us clean hands," and "better is one day" are in my heart these days...

i remember when i was in jr. high i'd get distracted while singing "better is one day."
"better is one day~ better is one day~ better is one day~ than thousands elsewhere."
i thought the chorus was boring, too repetitive...when's the song gonna end? i often thought.
and i'd quickly hide that thought in case God heard. as if God weren't all-knowing.

i realize i was sadly distracted because i didn't know what was better. Who was better.
but now i have tasted, and i have seen. by grace, through faith. JESUS.

and these days i can't say "better is one day" enough.
i can say it and will say it for eternity.

how lovely is Your dwelling place O'Lord Almighty
my soul longs and even faints for You
for here my heart is satisfied within Your presence
i sing beneath the shadow of Your wings

better is one day in Your courts
better is one day in Your house
better is one day in Your courts
than thousands elsewhere

one thing i ask and i would seek to see Your beauty
to find You in the place Your glory dwells 

my heart and flesh cry out for You the living God
Your Spirit's water to my soul
i've tasted and i've seen come once again to me
i will draw near to You, i will draw near to You

I LOVE YOU.

today my mom called me a rock (stone? it was in korean),
and it really hurt.

the tongue has the power to kill and destroy.
who knew it'd be so easy to kill those we love the most.

but Jesus is the life that lives in me.
Jesus is God's testimony living in me.

words have a lot of effect on me.
one word. two words. many words. no words.

especially having a boss and all,
i'm realizing the power of your tongue.

we misuse our tongues so much.
we give too much joy to the devil with our tongues.

doesn't that make you angry?
he can never say "i love you" to God.

he can never say "i've been forgiven" to God.
yet we can make satan happy with our tongues.

because we're so freaken stupid and careless.
mindless. thoughtless. slow in all the wise things. quick in all the wrong.

you're damned, satan.
i hate you so much. i'm so glad to spend eternity where you will not.

i understand you're scared.
actually, i don't. don't know what that feels like. because this perfect love i have casts out all possible fear.

i understand you're jealous. because God is so jealous for my love and for the love of those who don't even know God or how much God loves them. but you. who are you? get out of the way.
you are jealous for the dust of my feet. but i strike you all day with my heel.

today could have been a bad day. it was a hard day compared to others.
but when i think about you, satan, my day just got victorious because i'm so thankful that i'm not you or associated with you in any way. Praise the Lord!!!!!!

thank you for reminding me that i'm untouchable.
thank you for reminding me that i'm a citizen of Heaven, royalty belonging to God Most High.

thank you for reminding me that you're so scared. and so weak. that you know only how to steal, kill, and destroy. it's getting old.
but God. He can only make all things new. new every morning. and He gives me life. not only now but for eternity. and abundantly so. dang. God is so GOOD.

so yea. i was about to cuss you out but i realize i can't because i can only pity you and thank you for helping me realize how pitiful you are.
instead, i can only give praise to God and thank Him for my tongue. that despite how dirty it is, He still loves me because i am His daughter. i belong to Him. forever. because i believe in Jesus.

man. i love You, God.
i'm so thankful that i can tell you that i love You.
i'm so glad that i am able to love You even though i fail at it in many ways.
but Your Love for me is so unfailing, that there is no room for my failures.
You Love covers them all.

Hallelujah.
I LOVE YOU, LORD. MY FATHER.

Thank You, JESUS.

in JESUS'S Name.
Amen.

yesterday's utmost

The goal of faithfulness is not that we will do work for God, but that He will be free to do His work through us. 
God calls us to His service and places tremendous responsibilities on us. 
He expects no complaining on our part and offers no explanation on His part.
God wants to use us as He used His own Son.

yes, Lord.
only God can so greatly humble and so perfectly honor at the same time.
so awesome.

another day begins...
every second is yours.

in the most precious, comforting Name of all
JESUS
i pray.

AMEN.

reminder: free

to feel burdening

to be burdened,

to be a burden

who wants these three?

but He

felt burdening to those who did not believe

was burdened by those who did not receive

became the burden so we could be free

he not only felt burdening, was burdened

but became the burden. 

sin, too weighty a curse, nailed on the cross for sinners.

why believe you're burdening

why believe you're burdened

why believe you're a burden

 

when He died so i could be free from all burdens, even the burden of death,

and asks me to only believe and keep on believing in one Truth, Him, Who sets me free.

i'm going to live freely today.

 

la toner is stinky

i've been waiting for my ten dollar sephora toner all week.
and it finally came.

but why.
why does it smell like sour cologne?!
i kept putting it on my hand to get used to the smell but it just smells like cologne.
old, warm, woodsy cologne. with this sour after-smell... stinky.

i don't want to return it, but maybe i should.
i was pretty disappointed that i held the bottle and asked God to transform the foul smell and make it sweet... (or change my nose senses?!)
He knows what a big move it was for me to buy that bottle.

this may sound totally irrelevant but it isn't.
thank you, Jesus
for second chances.

upndowns

last semana, my mom.
this semana, me.

have mercy, Lord.
we know not what we want, need, and do.

i really have no idea.

after a good nap

since you are precious and honored in my sight,

and because I love you,

I will give men in exchange for you,

and people in exchange for your life.
-isaiah 43:4

thank you, Jesus.

december is going to be a blessed month.

not funnY!

so last week after thanksgiving dinner
my brother, sister, and i watched the first two episodes of this korean drama,
and i made fun of the main lady character who gets this anxiety attack and has trouble breathing.

then last night, my mom got a similar anxiety attack,
and i immediately thought about that main lady character.
and i. was. not. laughing.