old songs like "cry in my heart," "heart of worship," "give us clean hands," and "better is one day" are in my heart these days...
i remember when i was in jr. high i'd get distracted while singing "better is one day."
"better is one day~ better is one day~ better is one day~ than thousands elsewhere."
i thought the chorus was boring, too repetitive...when's the song gonna end? i often thought.
and i'd quickly hide that thought in case God heard. as if God weren't all-knowing.
i realize i was sadly distracted because i didn't know what was better. Who was better.
but now i have tasted, and i have seen. by grace, through faith. JESUS.
and these days i can't say "better is one day" enough.
i can say it and will say it for eternity.
how lovely is Your dwelling place O'Lord Almighty
my soul longs and even faints for You
for here my heart is satisfied within Your presence
i sing beneath the shadow of Your wings
better is one day in Your courts
better is one day in Your house
better is one day in Your courts
than thousands elsewhere
one thing i ask and i would seek to see Your beauty
to find You in the place Your glory dwells
my heart and flesh cry out for You the living God
Your Spirit's water to my soul
i've tasted and i've seen come once again to me
i will draw near to You, i will draw near to You
Friday, December 28, 2012
Thursday, December 27, 2012
I LOVE YOU.
today my mom called me a rock (stone? it was in korean),
and it really hurt.
the tongue has the power to kill and destroy.
who knew it'd be so easy to kill those we love the most.
but Jesus is the life that lives in me.
Jesus is God's testimony living in me.
words have a lot of effect on me.
one word. two words. many words. no words.
especially having a boss and all,
i'm realizing the power of your tongue.
we misuse our tongues so much.
we give too much joy to the devil with our tongues.
doesn't that make you angry?
he can never say "i love you" to God.
he can never say "i've been forgiven" to God.
yet we can make satan happy with our tongues.
because we're so freaken stupid and careless.
mindless. thoughtless. slow in all the wise things. quick in all the wrong.
you're damned, satan.
i hate you so much. i'm so glad to spend eternity where you will not.
i understand you're scared.
actually, i don't. don't know what that feels like. because this perfect love i have casts out all possible fear.
i understand you're jealous. because God is so jealous for my love and for the love of those who don't even know God or how much God loves them. but you. who are you? get out of the way.
you are jealous for the dust of my feet. but i strike you all day with my heel.
today could have been a bad day. it was a hard day compared to others.
but when i think about you, satan, my day just got victorious because i'm so thankful that i'm not you or associated with you in any way. Praise the Lord!!!!!!
thank you for reminding me that i'm untouchable.
thank you for reminding me that i'm a citizen of Heaven, royalty belonging to God Most High.
thank you for reminding me that you're so scared. and so weak. that you know only how to steal, kill, and destroy. it's getting old.
but God. He can only make all things new. new every morning. and He gives me life. not only now but for eternity. and abundantly so. dang. God is so GOOD.
so yea. i was about to cuss you out but i realize i can't because i can only pity you and thank you for helping me realize how pitiful you are.
instead, i can only give praise to God and thank Him for my tongue. that despite how dirty it is, He still loves me because i am His daughter. i belong to Him. forever. because i believe in Jesus.
man. i love You, God.
i'm so thankful that i can tell you that i love You.
i'm so glad that i am able to love You even though i fail at it in many ways.
but Your Love for me is so unfailing, that there is no room for my failures.
You Love covers them all.
Hallelujah.
I LOVE YOU, LORD. MY FATHER.
Thank You, JESUS.
in JESUS'S Name.
Amen.
and it really hurt.
the tongue has the power to kill and destroy.
who knew it'd be so easy to kill those we love the most.
but Jesus is the life that lives in me.
Jesus is God's testimony living in me.
words have a lot of effect on me.
one word. two words. many words. no words.
especially having a boss and all,
i'm realizing the power of your tongue.
we misuse our tongues so much.
we give too much joy to the devil with our tongues.
doesn't that make you angry?
he can never say "i love you" to God.
he can never say "i've been forgiven" to God.
yet we can make satan happy with our tongues.
because we're so freaken stupid and careless.
mindless. thoughtless. slow in all the wise things. quick in all the wrong.
you're damned, satan.
i hate you so much. i'm so glad to spend eternity where you will not.
i understand you're scared.
actually, i don't. don't know what that feels like. because this perfect love i have casts out all possible fear.
i understand you're jealous. because God is so jealous for my love and for the love of those who don't even know God or how much God loves them. but you. who are you? get out of the way.
you are jealous for the dust of my feet. but i strike you all day with my heel.
today could have been a bad day. it was a hard day compared to others.
but when i think about you, satan, my day just got victorious because i'm so thankful that i'm not you or associated with you in any way. Praise the Lord!!!!!!
thank you for reminding me that i'm untouchable.
thank you for reminding me that i'm a citizen of Heaven, royalty belonging to God Most High.
thank you for reminding me that you're so scared. and so weak. that you know only how to steal, kill, and destroy. it's getting old.
but God. He can only make all things new. new every morning. and He gives me life. not only now but for eternity. and abundantly so. dang. God is so GOOD.
so yea. i was about to cuss you out but i realize i can't because i can only pity you and thank you for helping me realize how pitiful you are.
instead, i can only give praise to God and thank Him for my tongue. that despite how dirty it is, He still loves me because i am His daughter. i belong to Him. forever. because i believe in Jesus.
man. i love You, God.
i'm so thankful that i can tell you that i love You.
i'm so glad that i am able to love You even though i fail at it in many ways.
but Your Love for me is so unfailing, that there is no room for my failures.
You Love covers them all.
Hallelujah.
I LOVE YOU, LORD. MY FATHER.
Thank You, JESUS.
in JESUS'S Name.
Amen.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
yesterday's utmost
The goal of faithfulness is not that we will do work for God, but that He will be free to do His work through us.
God calls us to His service and places tremendous responsibilities on us.
He expects no complaining on our part and offers no explanation on His part.
God wants to use us as He used His own Son.
yes, Lord.
only God can so greatly humble and so perfectly honor at the same time.
so awesome.
another day begins...
every second is yours.
in the most precious, comforting Name of all
JESUS
i pray.
AMEN.
God calls us to His service and places tremendous responsibilities on us.
He expects no complaining on our part and offers no explanation on His part.
God wants to use us as He used His own Son.
yes, Lord.
only God can so greatly humble and so perfectly honor at the same time.
so awesome.
another day begins...
every second is yours.
in the most precious, comforting Name of all
JESUS
i pray.
AMEN.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
reminder: free
to feel burdening
to be burdened,
to be a burden
who wants these three?
but He
felt burdening to those who did not believe
was burdened by those who did not receive
became the burden so we could be free
he not only felt burdening, was burdened
but became the burden.
sin, too weighty a curse, nailed on the cross for sinners.
why believe you're burdening
why believe you're burdened
why believe you're a burden
when He died so i could be free from all burdens, even the burden of death,
and asks me to only believe and keep on believing in one Truth, Him, Who sets me free.
i'm going to live freely today.
Friday, December 7, 2012
la toner is stinky
i've been waiting for my ten dollar sephora toner all week.
and it finally came.
but why.
why does it smell like sour cologne?!
i kept putting it on my hand to get used to the smell but it just smells like cologne.
old, warm, woodsy cologne. with this sour after-smell... stinky.
i don't want to return it, but maybe i should.
i was pretty disappointed that i held the bottle and asked God to transform the foul smell and make it sweet... (or change my nose senses?!)
He knows what a big move it was for me to buy that bottle.
this may sound totally irrelevant but it isn't.
thank you, Jesus
for second chances.
and it finally came.
but why.
why does it smell like sour cologne?!
i kept putting it on my hand to get used to the smell but it just smells like cologne.
old, warm, woodsy cologne. with this sour after-smell... stinky.
i don't want to return it, but maybe i should.
i was pretty disappointed that i held the bottle and asked God to transform the foul smell and make it sweet... (or change my nose senses?!)
He knows what a big move it was for me to buy that bottle.
this may sound totally irrelevant but it isn't.
thank you, Jesus
for second chances.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
upndowns
last semana, my mom.
this semana, me.
have mercy, Lord.
we know not what we want, need, and do.
i really have no idea.
this semana, me.
have mercy, Lord.
we know not what we want, need, and do.
i really have no idea.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
after a good nap
since you are precious and honored in my sight,
and because I love you,
I will give men in exchange for you,
and people in exchange for your life.
-isaiah 43:4
-isaiah 43:4
thank you, Jesus.
december is going to be a blessed month.
not funnY!
so last week after thanksgiving dinner
my brother, sister, and i watched the first two episodes of this korean drama,
and i made fun of the main lady character who gets this anxiety attack and has trouble breathing.
then last night, my mom got a similar anxiety attack,
and i immediately thought about that main lady character.
and i. was. not. laughing.
my brother, sister, and i watched the first two episodes of this korean drama,
and i made fun of the main lady character who gets this anxiety attack and has trouble breathing.
then last night, my mom got a similar anxiety attack,
and i immediately thought about that main lady character.
and i. was. not. laughing.
Friday, November 30, 2012
work it out
everything else is warm up.
when it starts getting uncomfortable, painful, unbearable, unsettling
that's the beginning of the workout.
that's when God wants you to work out your faith and grow stronger.
i guess this is just the beginning.
purple lunch pail
my lunch pail was purple with my name written on the top with permanent marker.
even though i was little, i didn't fully appreciate the fact that my mom wrote my name on everything i owned. with the same black permanent marker in her all-caps writing.
"ASHLEY KIM"
i wanted a cooler lunch pail. not necessarily the metal ones, pink, and hello kitty everywhere. but i wanted something more than my plain purple lunch pail. i never knew what i wanted so i ended up using the purple lunch pail, every day.
i remember i tossed it everywhere
i threw it in my cubby, next to my backpack.
i slammed it on the blue lunch tables, i threw it in the car when my mom picked me up after school.
i was so careless with my lunch box.
i was also careless with my lunch.
i was embarrassed to eat my egg sandwich.
i loved my tuna sandwich but was self-conscious of what my friends would think of my fishy sandwich.
i got sick of rice crispies and chewy granola bars; i probably gave them away. or threw them away.
i only ate my doritos, cheez-its, and goldfish.
so spoiled. so loved.
but i didn't know anything.
i was jealous of my friends standing in the long lunch lines for their slice of pizza and curly fries.
i was angry that my mom didn't give me money for lunch.
why isn't she like other moms? why can't she just let me eat at school? does she not want to give me money? does she not trust me? does she not want me to be happy? haha
the thing is, once my mom did start giving me money to buy lunch from school,
i would lie that i ate lunch and hide the money.
i don't even think i was saving up for anything.
somehow, even at a young age, i liked and valued money. even more than curly fries. and i looooooved my warm, spicy curly fries with ketchup. mmm~
i remember one day when my mom saw my lunch money nearly falling out of my side pocket.
i didn't know. so when she asked me what i'd eaten for lunch, i replied, "mm. tacos. yes, tacos!"
i remember i'd make sure to memorize the weekly menu to make sure i answered correctly.
then. before my eyes. my mom put in front of me all the money that i had hidden in my drawer.
and i was dumbfounded. i was so scared.
last night, 15 or more so years later, i remembered that scary night. and i imagined the shock and sorrow in my mom's heart. how would i react if my daughter did that...(oh Lord..have mercy..)
why did my daughter do this??? what the haiiiiiil is my daughter thinking?!
honestly, i don't know what i was thinking.
but man, i really miss my purple lunch box.
i wish i ate every single thing that my mom ever made and put in that purple sack of love.
egg sandwich, tuna sandwich, rice krispies, fritos, everything.
even tomatoes, even if they make me gag.
but do you get me?
so often, we don't know.
too often, we don't understand.
the heart of a mother,
the faithfulness of a mother.
and as always, her love reminds me of the love of my father in heaven.
i remember his faithfulness and patience with me. loving me when i don't get a thing. loving me when i don't understand a thing.
and only he can bring me to a tearful heart of repentance and relief, with a simple reminder before i sleep,
of my dearly missed purple lunch pail.
even though i was little, i didn't fully appreciate the fact that my mom wrote my name on everything i owned. with the same black permanent marker in her all-caps writing.
"ASHLEY KIM"
i wanted a cooler lunch pail. not necessarily the metal ones, pink, and hello kitty everywhere. but i wanted something more than my plain purple lunch pail. i never knew what i wanted so i ended up using the purple lunch pail, every day.
i remember i tossed it everywhere
i threw it in my cubby, next to my backpack.
i slammed it on the blue lunch tables, i threw it in the car when my mom picked me up after school.
i was so careless with my lunch box.
i was also careless with my lunch.
i was embarrassed to eat my egg sandwich.
i loved my tuna sandwich but was self-conscious of what my friends would think of my fishy sandwich.
i got sick of rice crispies and chewy granola bars; i probably gave them away. or threw them away.
i only ate my doritos, cheez-its, and goldfish.
so spoiled. so loved.
but i didn't know anything.
i was jealous of my friends standing in the long lunch lines for their slice of pizza and curly fries.
i was angry that my mom didn't give me money for lunch.
why isn't she like other moms? why can't she just let me eat at school? does she not want to give me money? does she not trust me? does she not want me to be happy? haha
the thing is, once my mom did start giving me money to buy lunch from school,
i would lie that i ate lunch and hide the money.
i don't even think i was saving up for anything.
somehow, even at a young age, i liked and valued money. even more than curly fries. and i looooooved my warm, spicy curly fries with ketchup. mmm~
i remember one day when my mom saw my lunch money nearly falling out of my side pocket.
i didn't know. so when she asked me what i'd eaten for lunch, i replied, "mm. tacos. yes, tacos!"
i remember i'd make sure to memorize the weekly menu to make sure i answered correctly.
then. before my eyes. my mom put in front of me all the money that i had hidden in my drawer.
and i was dumbfounded. i was so scared.
last night, 15 or more so years later, i remembered that scary night. and i imagined the shock and sorrow in my mom's heart. how would i react if my daughter did that...(oh Lord..have mercy..)
why did my daughter do this??? what the haiiiiiil is my daughter thinking?!
honestly, i don't know what i was thinking.
but man, i really miss my purple lunch box.
i wish i ate every single thing that my mom ever made and put in that purple sack of love.
egg sandwich, tuna sandwich, rice krispies, fritos, everything.
even tomatoes, even if they make me gag.
but do you get me?
so often, we don't know.
too often, we don't understand.
the heart of a mother,
the faithfulness of a mother.
and as always, her love reminds me of the love of my father in heaven.
i remember his faithfulness and patience with me. loving me when i don't get a thing. loving me when i don't understand a thing.
and only he can bring me to a tearful heart of repentance and relief, with a simple reminder before i sleep,
of my dearly missed purple lunch pail.
Monday, November 19, 2012
set apart
simple revelation
powerful reminder:
i'm sorry for the thing i've made it
when it's all about You
it's all about You, Jesus.
Friday, November 16, 2012
mark 5:35-36
while Jesus was still speaking, some men came from the house of Jairus, the synagogue ruler.
"your daughter is dead," they said. "why bother the teacher any more?"
ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue ruler,
"don't be afraid; just believe."
while Jesus was still speaking, some men came from the house of Jairus, the synagogue ruler.
"your daughter is dead," they said. "why bother the teacher any more?"
ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue ruler,
"DON'T BE AFRAID; JUST BELIEVE."
"DON'T BE AFRAID; JUST BELIEVE."
"your daughter is dead," they said. "why bother the teacher any more?"
ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue ruler,
"don't be afraid; just believe."
while Jesus was still speaking, some men came from the house of Jairus, the synagogue ruler.
"your daughter is dead," they said. "why bother the teacher any more?"
ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue ruler,
"DON'T BE AFRAID; JUST BELIEVE."
"DON'T BE AFRAID; JUST BELIEVE."
thankful
so thankful.
nothing's changed.
circumstances aren't changing.
but man.
my heart is filled with thanksgiving.
last year, around this time,
mi madre spent thanksgiving alone,
and that probably grieved God.
i'm sure that grieved God.
so this year, he's making sure we don't make that same mistake.
compared to last year, nothing's changed.
if anything, the circumstances have gotten worse.
but God has taken the thanksgiving in my heart to a whole new level.
this thanksgiving is going to the most thanks-filled thanksgiving of my life.
man... truly, God makes the impossible possible.
He is so good to me.
He is so good to us.
new word i learned today from mark 5:7
Dios Altísimo = God Most High, Most High God
so many beautiful names for our Lord...
so thankful that i can call out and experience the meaning and prophecy of each name.
thank you, Jesus, name above every name.
nothing's changed.
circumstances aren't changing.
but man.
my heart is filled with thanksgiving.
last year, around this time,
mi madre spent thanksgiving alone,
and that probably grieved God.
i'm sure that grieved God.
so this year, he's making sure we don't make that same mistake.
compared to last year, nothing's changed.
if anything, the circumstances have gotten worse.
but God has taken the thanksgiving in my heart to a whole new level.
this thanksgiving is going to the most thanks-filled thanksgiving of my life.
man... truly, God makes the impossible possible.
He is so good to me.
He is so good to us.
new word i learned today from mark 5:7
Dios Altísimo = God Most High, Most High God
so many beautiful names for our Lord...
so thankful that i can call out and experience the meaning and prophecy of each name.
thank you, Jesus, name above every name.
Friday, November 9, 2012
wednesday night
this is all from my head.
inside my cave.
my mom leaves the room.
my dad opens the garage door and steps into the house.
the stairs creak as usual.
every night when i'm about to sleep the garage door opens, stairs creak. door opens, stairs creaks.
i memorize the rhythm, the sound of the door knob twisting followed by dad's tip-toe footsteps.
i can hear everything from my little cozy cave.
the stair creaking is interrupted
by my mom's stern yet gentle voice.
she tells him to sit down.
her face, paler than usual.
not again, he thinks.
but he knows he can't say that out loud.
he knows better.
she says,
"피 말린다.
숨 좀 쉬자."
silence.
he knows i'm listening.
he knows better.
but does he know i'm on my knees
in silence
?
silence.
"ok. ok. i know."
silence.
stairs creak again.
my mom remains sitting, silent,
her face paler than usual.
from my cave,
i feel the atmosphere.
heavy with hurt
thorns of anxiety dig into my mom's frail mind.
boulders of burden weary my dad's frail shoulders.
i'm on my knees.
why do we hurt those we love the most?
the love is great, but the hurt is greater.
or is the hurt great because the love is too great.
or the greater the love the greater the hurt.
the greater the hurt, the greater the love?
maybe it's obvious
but i try to understand and reason love and hurt in my head.
maybe i'm thinking too much, as usual.
but God knows what i'm thinking. he understands and listens, always.
he reminds me how great his love is.
Jesus.
he reminds me of the hurt he endured.
Jesus.
i remember the cross.
where the greatest love bore the greatest hurt, the burden of the world, the pain of the piercings in his side, hands and feet, the weight of sin, the heavy crown of thorns mocking him as king of the jews when he is actually King of all kings, King of the universe. King of my life. my Deliverer. my Savior. my Healer. my Refuge. my Counselor. my Peace. my Father. my Friend. my Love. my first Love.
in my blindness, i nailed my greatest love to the cross.
1 John 4:8 says God is love.
i am a murderer. shameless. foolish. selfish. clueless. murderer.
we hurt those we love the most.
i wonder what my mom is doing.
i step out of the cave and see
she is sitting at the dining table,
staring at nothing.
i love her.
she loves my dad.
my dad loves her.
they love each other.
i love them.
i want to comfort my mom
but i conclude
that we don't know how to love.
we try. but we don't know how to love on our own.
but God loves me. God loves us. He created us out of his love. He created us to love us.
Romans 5:8 says God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
1 John 4:19 says we love because he first loved us.
we love because he first loved us.
we may not know how to love perfectly like God does, but this perfect God loves us.
we imperfectly love him and our loved ones because we are imperfect (and so are our loved ones, so no wonder the love is not perfect)
but our perfect God loves us perfectly, and he allows the manifestation of his perfect love, Jesus, to dwell in imperfect man through belief in Jesus' love for us. so imperfect we are made perfect through the indwelling of Jesus Christ, and we are able to learn, share, practice, and experience love.
only because God first loved us.
thus imperfect man is able to perfectly love imperfect man and perfect God because perfect God first loved us perfectly. and God's perfect love is able to flow out of imperfect man.
this was all in my head.
and i concluded: there is hope. there is faith. there is love.
but the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:13)
we will never be able to fully comprehend God's perfect love, but we can start enjoying it now.
this was wednesday night, november 7.
november 2012.
it's only been a week.
but you are a month to remember.
thank You, Jesus.
inside my cave.
my mom leaves the room.
my dad opens the garage door and steps into the house.
the stairs creak as usual.
every night when i'm about to sleep the garage door opens, stairs creak. door opens, stairs creaks.
i memorize the rhythm, the sound of the door knob twisting followed by dad's tip-toe footsteps.
i can hear everything from my little cozy cave.
the stair creaking is interrupted
by my mom's stern yet gentle voice.
she tells him to sit down.
her face, paler than usual.
not again, he thinks.
but he knows he can't say that out loud.
he knows better.
she says,
"피 말린다.
숨 좀 쉬자."
silence.
he knows i'm listening.
he knows better.
but does he know i'm on my knees
in silence
?
silence.
"ok. ok. i know."
silence.
stairs creak again.
my mom remains sitting, silent,
her face paler than usual.
from my cave,
i feel the atmosphere.
heavy with hurt
thorns of anxiety dig into my mom's frail mind.
boulders of burden weary my dad's frail shoulders.
i'm on my knees.
why do we hurt those we love the most?
the love is great, but the hurt is greater.
or is the hurt great because the love is too great.
or the greater the love the greater the hurt.
the greater the hurt, the greater the love?
maybe it's obvious
but i try to understand and reason love and hurt in my head.
maybe i'm thinking too much, as usual.
but God knows what i'm thinking. he understands and listens, always.
he reminds me how great his love is.
Jesus.
he reminds me of the hurt he endured.
Jesus.
i remember the cross.
where the greatest love bore the greatest hurt, the burden of the world, the pain of the piercings in his side, hands and feet, the weight of sin, the heavy crown of thorns mocking him as king of the jews when he is actually King of all kings, King of the universe. King of my life. my Deliverer. my Savior. my Healer. my Refuge. my Counselor. my Peace. my Father. my Friend. my Love. my first Love.
in my blindness, i nailed my greatest love to the cross.
1 John 4:8 says God is love.
i am a murderer. shameless. foolish. selfish. clueless. murderer.
we hurt those we love the most.
i wonder what my mom is doing.
i step out of the cave and see
she is sitting at the dining table,
staring at nothing.
i love her.
she loves my dad.
my dad loves her.
they love each other.
i love them.
i want to comfort my mom
but i conclude
that we don't know how to love.
we try. but we don't know how to love on our own.
but God loves me. God loves us. He created us out of his love. He created us to love us.
Romans 5:8 says God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
1 John 4:19 says we love because he first loved us.
we love because he first loved us.
we may not know how to love perfectly like God does, but this perfect God loves us.
we imperfectly love him and our loved ones because we are imperfect (and so are our loved ones, so no wonder the love is not perfect)
but our perfect God loves us perfectly, and he allows the manifestation of his perfect love, Jesus, to dwell in imperfect man through belief in Jesus' love for us. so imperfect we are made perfect through the indwelling of Jesus Christ, and we are able to learn, share, practice, and experience love.
only because God first loved us.
thus imperfect man is able to perfectly love imperfect man and perfect God because perfect God first loved us perfectly. and God's perfect love is able to flow out of imperfect man.
this was all in my head.
and i concluded: there is hope. there is faith. there is love.
but the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:13)
we will never be able to fully comprehend God's perfect love, but we can start enjoying it now.
this was wednesday night, november 7.
november 2012.
it's only been a week.
but you are a month to remember.
thank You, Jesus.
no me gusta
when people tell me to STOP.
like this morning..
i was explaining myself to someone and she said,
"stop talking."
...
that just makes me want to keep going.
so i tried to explain myself even more and she said,
"stop lying."
cherry on top:
"be true to yourself."
oh man...
i held my tongue.
tried to be the "bigger one."
but that lasted a good 2 seconds because
i stomped up the stairs and yelled,
"i'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO annoyed, God!!!!!!!!"
all around 6:30 in the morning...
the calm before all the rustling and bustling of the day.
i don't like it when man tells me to stop.
my pride..........
my mom....
my freaken pride...
my lovely mom......
how can i love my freaken pride over my lovely mom.
such is man.
but God.
God tells me to keep going. God is the ultimate encourager.
He tells me to go forward, be bold, don't be afraid
speak out, speak up, go, go, go...don't stop. keep talking to me. keep walking. keep your eyes on me. i'm listening. you can complain, but give thanks in all circumstances. don't stop. follow me. have faith. don't stop having faith. don't stop believing. keep fighting...FIGHT! he tells me to FIGHT! he tells me to YELL! he tells me to destroy. he tells me to conquer. he tells me to live life to the full, full volume.
but i whimper. i don't even move.
if i do, i walk one step and immediate look back.
and to the right. to the left.
MAN.
what's wrong with me?
i feel like my PMS-ing goes to a new level every year.
or every month.
so this little rant/revelation may be a result of PMS.
but yea.
that was my morning of november 9.
and i declare that there will be no such mornings like this one in Jesus' Name.
help me, dear Jesus.
quick to hear,
slow to speak, and
slow to anger.
like this morning..
i was explaining myself to someone and she said,
"stop talking."
...
that just makes me want to keep going.
so i tried to explain myself even more and she said,
"stop lying."
cherry on top:
"be true to yourself."
oh man...
i held my tongue.
tried to be the "bigger one."
but that lasted a good 2 seconds because
i stomped up the stairs and yelled,
"i'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO annoyed, God!!!!!!!!"
all around 6:30 in the morning...
the calm before all the rustling and bustling of the day.
i don't like it when man tells me to stop.
my pride..........
my mom....
my freaken pride...
my lovely mom......
how can i love my freaken pride over my lovely mom.
such is man.
but God.
God tells me to keep going. God is the ultimate encourager.
He tells me to go forward, be bold, don't be afraid
speak out, speak up, go, go, go...don't stop. keep talking to me. keep walking. keep your eyes on me. i'm listening. you can complain, but give thanks in all circumstances. don't stop. follow me. have faith. don't stop having faith. don't stop believing. keep fighting...FIGHT! he tells me to FIGHT! he tells me to YELL! he tells me to destroy. he tells me to conquer. he tells me to live life to the full, full volume.
but i whimper. i don't even move.
if i do, i walk one step and immediate look back.
and to the right. to the left.
MAN.
what's wrong with me?
i feel like my PMS-ing goes to a new level every year.
or every month.
so this little rant/revelation may be a result of PMS.
but yea.
that was my morning of november 9.
and i declare that there will be no such mornings like this one in Jesus' Name.
help me, dear Jesus.
quick to hear,
slow to speak, and
slow to anger.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
10.11.12
thank You for the rain.
thank You for the shower.
our house really needed it.
whatever you are showering down right now,
we receive it all.
"...around your ears, on your head, on the roof of your house, into your hearts... just open up and receive it."
i receive, Lord.
because i ask, and i receive.
because i call, and you answer.
because i freely choose, and you freely give me Jesus.
I am the Lord your God,
who brought you up out of Egypt.
open wide your mouth and I will fill it.
-psalm 81:10
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
revelación
no sabía que yo estaba viviendo como una huérfana hasta hoy.
ahora yo sé y por eso doy gracias a Dios.
ahora yo sé y por eso doy gracias a Dios.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
warning from the heavenly man
this was the second time i'd been arrested because i was burned out and my ears were closed to hearing the Lord's warning.
my second imprisonment in china in 1991 also came about because i was burned out and trusted in my own strength.
i didn't learn my lesson well.
if you are a worker in God's kingdom, or ever hope to serve the Lord,
let me warn you from the words i wrote down in my notebook that day while i was waiting in the airport interrogation room.
in large letters i wrote, "beware! beware! beware! God's workers must never, ever disobey God's principles!"
those Christians who have a public ministry are most in danger of falling into trouble,
because they can easily be tempted to listen to the applause and praise of men.
if you are a preacher, beware! you must cry out and ask God to help you listen only to his voice,
not to the crowds of people who pat you on the back and place you on a pedestal.
God's principles are often the opposite of our own.
while we hope people will like and accept us, Jesus taught,
"Woe to you when all men speak well of you." Luke 6:26.
-brother yun from The Heavenly Man
(gracias, mi hermana "thin-thin" por este libro. *abrazos*)
my second imprisonment in china in 1991 also came about because i was burned out and trusted in my own strength.
i didn't learn my lesson well.
if you are a worker in God's kingdom, or ever hope to serve the Lord,
let me warn you from the words i wrote down in my notebook that day while i was waiting in the airport interrogation room.
in large letters i wrote, "beware! beware! beware! God's workers must never, ever disobey God's principles!"
those Christians who have a public ministry are most in danger of falling into trouble,
because they can easily be tempted to listen to the applause and praise of men.
if you are a preacher, beware! you must cry out and ask God to help you listen only to his voice,
not to the crowds of people who pat you on the back and place you on a pedestal.
God's principles are often the opposite of our own.
while we hope people will like and accept us, Jesus taught,
"Woe to you when all men speak well of you." Luke 6:26.
-brother yun from The Heavenly Man
(gracias, mi hermana "thin-thin" por este libro. *abrazos*)
God without religion
God is calling us to a new way.
we may feel it's spiritual to analyze ourselves and our sins.
maybe we think that by dwelling on our sins for a time and doing some sort of guilty penance, God will be pleased and restore us to a former state of "fellowship."
but the gospel is better than all of that. the gospel invites us to dwell on the work of Jesus Christ instead.
we are invited to be obsessed with the cross, not our sins.
are you infatuated with your sins when God remembers them no more?
are you obsessed with your failures instead of God's success on the cross?
are you so consumed with your struggles that you aren't looking anywhere else except upon yourself?
the Son of Man has been lifted up.
religion would have us look at our sins.
God is saying, "Look at my Son."
-andrew farley from God Without Religion
we may feel it's spiritual to analyze ourselves and our sins.
maybe we think that by dwelling on our sins for a time and doing some sort of guilty penance, God will be pleased and restore us to a former state of "fellowship."
but the gospel is better than all of that. the gospel invites us to dwell on the work of Jesus Christ instead.
we are invited to be obsessed with the cross, not our sins.
are you infatuated with your sins when God remembers them no more?
are you obsessed with your failures instead of God's success on the cross?
are you so consumed with your struggles that you aren't looking anywhere else except upon yourself?
the Son of Man has been lifted up.
religion would have us look at our sins.
God is saying, "Look at my Son."
-andrew farley from God Without Religion
Monday, October 8, 2012
fit for heaven & earth
"to be in Christ — that makes you fit for heaven;
but for Christ to be in you —that makes you fit for earth!"
-major ian thomas (1914-2007)
but for Christ to be in you —that makes you fit for earth!"
-major ian thomas (1914-2007)
Saturday, October 6, 2012
i cannot obey
obedience to God is not possible.
obedience to God is impossible.
i'm getting it...
i can't do it.
that's why Jesus has to come in, take over.
only Jesus can help me, rescue me out of this pit of disobedience i dig everyday with my thoughts and imagination and desires.
the biggest shovel is my heart.
God, i want to do the impossible.
i want to obey.
so Jesus, take over.
i know you live in me, but i ask you and plead that you take over.
i cannot obey even if my life depended on it.
but Jesus, you can.
and Jesus, you are the only life in me that truly matters and truly lives.
please, live freely in me; my flesh will follow. bless me with obedience, so i can move freely with You.
when idon't can't obey, i feel suffocated, tied down, trapped.
but when i obey, i feel free.
this is the mystery of your love.
i love it when i'm captured by your presence.
obedience to God is impossible.
i'm getting it...
i can't do it.
that's why Jesus has to come in, take over.
only Jesus can help me, rescue me out of this pit of disobedience i dig everyday with my thoughts and imagination and desires.
the biggest shovel is my heart.
God, i want to do the impossible.
i want to obey.
so Jesus, take over.
i know you live in me, but i ask you and plead that you take over.
i cannot obey even if my life depended on it.
but Jesus, you can.
and Jesus, you are the only life in me that truly matters and truly lives.
please, live freely in me; my flesh will follow. bless me with obedience, so i can move freely with You.
when i
but when i obey, i feel free.
this is the mystery of your love.
i love it when i'm captured by your presence.
Monday, October 1, 2012
with you...
the more you love God,
the more you realize you lack love, that your love is vain.
so empty me of my love, and fill me with yours.
it is useless and even harmful if i love with my own love.
the more you know God,
the less you know your will or have a definite will of your own.
so empty me of my will, and fill me with yours.
it is difficult knowing what's right for me when the only right i know is you.
the more you rest in God,
the more you want to stand up, run, fight for Him.
so fill me with your humility, power, and anointing.
it is possible to do the impossible with you.
i want to know you're with me so much to the point where
i realize that i'm you and you're me
to the point that i love with your love
to the point i know my will is your will
to the point i don't know what impossible is when i'm with you.
the more you realize you lack love, that your love is vain.
so empty me of my love, and fill me with yours.
it is useless and even harmful if i love with my own love.
the more you know God,
the less you know your will or have a definite will of your own.
so empty me of my will, and fill me with yours.
it is difficult knowing what's right for me when the only right i know is you.
the more you rest in God,
the more you want to stand up, run, fight for Him.
so fill me with your humility, power, and anointing.
it is possible to do the impossible with you.
i want to know you're with me so much to the point where
i realize that i'm you and you're me
to the point that i love with your love
to the point i know my will is your will
to the point i don't know what impossible is when i'm with you.
jealous angels
before, people needed prophets to know the will of God because they didn't know how to reach, hear, listen to the voice of God.
even if they heard the prophecies from God-appointed prophets, people would deny these prophecies if they weren't "good."
but it's pretty amazing to see God speaking to his prophets so often, so specifically, sometimes vaguely, so vividly, so honestly, so compassionately, so desperately, so frustrated-ly, so real-ly... sometimes you think, "why doesn't God talk to us like that now? maybe then i'd really believe him."
God was alive and real to these prophets. the people needed these prophets because they didn't have Jesus yet, and they didn't have the Bible. little did we know and prophets know, that the prophets were in the process of making the Bible.... for US.
that's why we don't need prophets telling us what to do allllll the tiiiiiiime.
but we. us. right now. we wander, we wonder, we ponder, we roll around thinking about God, our lives.
when He's right there. talking to us so often, so specifically, sometimes vaguely, so vividly, so honestly, so compassionately, so desperately, so frustrated-ly, so real-ly...
yes, He is silent a lot of times.... but that's an answer, too.
the Bible is so precious. we not only have the Bible today, but also Jesus, who lives inside of those who believe in Him.... and the Spirit of Jesus wrote the Bible. thus Jesus is the Word, manifest in flesh, so that we may know He is the true living God.
it's simple.
we need Jesus. we need the Bible.
if we believe in Jesus,
He lives in us; the Word lives in us...
to know Him more, you must read the Word...you get to know the Word, memorize the Word, hide the Word in your heart, cherish the Word....
EVEN ANGELS LONG TO LOOK INTO THE WORD AND KNOW GOD.
we get to know God now, before we enter the gates of heaven.
but God knew that we would wander, wonder, ponder, roll around thinking about God, our lives...
when it's actually all too simple yet all too profound and perfect, too good to be true.
that the Answer and Creator of all things is usually sitting at our desk or nightstand,
used more often as a sleeping pill than a nightlight, flashlight, just light, or life navigation guide.
we don't have to read the Bible. we don't have to serve. we don't have to love.
we get to read the Bible. we get to serve. we get to love.
angels have to worship, angels have to serve, angels have to obey God's commands.
but we get to, with, through, because of the Word of God.
even angels long to look into these things...dang... such waterfalls of grace are poured onto us, everyday.
even if they heard the prophecies from God-appointed prophets, people would deny these prophecies if they weren't "good."
but it's pretty amazing to see God speaking to his prophets so often, so specifically, sometimes vaguely, so vividly, so honestly, so compassionately, so desperately, so frustrated-ly, so real-ly... sometimes you think, "why doesn't God talk to us like that now? maybe then i'd really believe him."
God was alive and real to these prophets. the people needed these prophets because they didn't have Jesus yet, and they didn't have the Bible. little did we know and prophets know, that the prophets were in the process of making the Bible.... for US.
that's why we don't need prophets telling us what to do allllll the tiiiiiiime.
but we. us. right now. we wander, we wonder, we ponder, we roll around thinking about God, our lives.
when He's right there. talking to us so often, so specifically, sometimes vaguely, so vividly, so honestly, so compassionately, so desperately, so frustrated-ly, so real-ly...
yes, He is silent a lot of times.... but that's an answer, too.
the Bible is so precious. we not only have the Bible today, but also Jesus, who lives inside of those who believe in Him.... and the Spirit of Jesus wrote the Bible. thus Jesus is the Word, manifest in flesh, so that we may know He is the true living God.
it's simple.
we need Jesus. we need the Bible.
if we believe in Jesus,
He lives in us; the Word lives in us...
to know Him more, you must read the Word...you get to know the Word, memorize the Word, hide the Word in your heart, cherish the Word....
EVEN ANGELS LONG TO LOOK INTO THE WORD AND KNOW GOD.
we get to know God now, before we enter the gates of heaven.
but God knew that we would wander, wonder, ponder, roll around thinking about God, our lives...
when it's actually all too simple yet all too profound and perfect, too good to be true.
that the Answer and Creator of all things is usually sitting at our desk or nightstand,
used more often as a sleeping pill than a nightlight, flashlight, just light, or life navigation guide.
we don't have to read the Bible. we don't have to serve. we don't have to love.
we get to read the Bible. we get to serve. we get to love.
angels have to worship, angels have to serve, angels have to obey God's commands.
but we get to, with, through, because of the Word of God.
even angels long to look into these things...dang... such waterfalls of grace are poured onto us, everyday.
10 Concerning this salvation, the prophets, who spoke of the grace that was to come to you, searched intently and with the greatest care, 11 trying to find out the time and circumstances to which the Spirit of Christ in them was pointing when he predicted the sufferings of Christ and the glories that would follow. 12 It was revealed to them that they were not serving themselves but you, when they spoke of the things that have now been told you by those who have preached the gospel to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven. Even angels long to look into these things. -1 Peter 1
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. 3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. 4 In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome[a] it. -John 1
Thursday, September 27, 2012
promises
blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
-matthew 5:3
blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
-matthew 5:10
blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kind of evil against you because of me.
rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven,
for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
-matthew 5:11-12
thank You, Jesus.
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
-matthew 5:3
blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
-matthew 5:10
blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kind of evil against you because of me.
rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven,
for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
-matthew 5:11-12
thank You, Jesus.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
chain
lie after lie after lie after lie
after lie after life after lie after
lie after lie after lie after lie
may the chain of lies be broken.
in Jesus' Name.
amen.
after lie after life after lie after
lie after lie after lie after lie
may the chain of lies be broken.
in Jesus' Name.
amen.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
cinco
had a short but very meaningful email exchange with my sister-in-law.
without much thought, i archived the email under my "family" tab.
and then i caught myself and thought, "whoa, i did that so naturally..."
i actually don't know why i decided to write this in my blog,
but i think i kind of surprised myself.
while i thought my brother's marriage hasn't "hit me" yet,
i realize it hasn't because jenn has felt like family all along, ever since the first time i saw her.
and i'm just really thankful for her,
and i'm so happy she is my brother's wife, my sister, that she is part of my family.
especially after this labor day weekend, i realize it's the five of us now,
and it's a really cool, warm feeling. oxymoron?
it's like cool!! we're family!!?!! awww~ heartwarming, secure feeling...
it's crazy that God lets us rejoice in times of suffering.
it's crazy God commands us to rejoice always, even/especially in times of suffering.
because God is with us. He is with us.
You are with our family.
this family would not be standing if not for Your Grace.
thank You, Lord, for my family.
thank You for second chances.
without much thought, i archived the email under my "family" tab.
and then i caught myself and thought, "whoa, i did that so naturally..."
i actually don't know why i decided to write this in my blog,
but i think i kind of surprised myself.
while i thought my brother's marriage hasn't "hit me" yet,
i realize it hasn't because jenn has felt like family all along, ever since the first time i saw her.
and i'm just really thankful for her,
and i'm so happy she is my brother's wife, my sister, that she is part of my family.
especially after this labor day weekend, i realize it's the five of us now,
and it's a really cool, warm feeling. oxymoron?
it's like cool!! we're family!!?!! awww~ heartwarming, secure feeling...
it's crazy that God lets us rejoice in times of suffering.
it's crazy God commands us to rejoice always, even/especially in times of suffering.
because God is with us. He is with us.
You are with our family.
this family would not be standing if not for Your Grace.
thank You, Lord, for my family.
thank You for second chances.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
humble pie neva tasted so goo'
this little boy sits in front of me every saturday at morning prayer.
his mom sits on his right. and his dad sits on his mom's right.
i thought, wow.. he's so young (looks 8?) but he wakes up early on saturday to come with his parents.
how cute, he's leaning on his mom. he looks tired. he looks bored. aw, he looks miserable.
all these thoughts run across my mind. i unconsciously judge this child.
this saturday morning,
i was tired.
and tired for good reason:
all-night prayer and scripture reading.
i thought i had prayed enough.
but i didn't feel relief.
went through a list of names and faces in my head.
i remembered what i read from proverbs.
wisdom, yes. understanding, yes.
humility before honor, yes.
humility comes with wisdom, yes.
ok. what now?
frustrated, confused, disappointed almost,
i close my eyes and remember the morning message:
luke 18. don't give up praying. be persistent. don't give up.
i sat with my eyes closed.
wondering what to pray for next,
and i hear a familiar melody,
one that's been ringing in my heart since mexico:
"Shekinah Glory fall down...."
i lean forward, trying to make sure i didn't make that up..
didn't want to force a melody... it's probably another song, similar lyrics.
"..... Shekinah Glory fall down...."
i reach for my glasses and look in front of me.
in fervent prayer, rocking in his chair, eyes squeezed so tightly,
the boy.
it's the little boy, who i thought must be miserable coming here on a saturday morning,
asking for Shekinah Glory to fall down.
"here we are standing in your presence,
here we are standing in your presence,
Shekinah Glory fall down...
Shekinah Glory fall down..."
how does he even know this song?
i sing along with him in between my tears.
the first tears i've shed during this all-night prayer meeting that almost felt...dry.
just an hour before, my tongue was spitting out all these words.
but all i was getting/feeling was silence.
but as i thanked God for this little brother and blessed him,
God started to speak to my heart.
i started remembering all the prayers i screamed to God,
asking that we may be the generation that seeks His face.
i thank God...
for humbling me.
i ask for forgiveness for judging the boy,
for judging the generation that is rising to seek His face, O God of Jacob.
i hear the boy praying,
"not me, Lord. not me, God.
i don't want to be glorified. it's You. it's all about You.
You have to be glorified..."
i'm smiling like crazy at this point,
almost laughing..
and crying at the same time.
only God can make you do that.
only He can make you feel all those crazy emotions at once...
and then i realize...
He just wanted me to ask simple prayers.
simple, bold prayers.
for His Glory to be revealed and fall down in every person, area of my life.
in this church, in the missions field, in the world...
for Shekinah Glory to fall down....
man.
thank You again for humbling me, God.
i was reading all these proverbs and wise sayings.
i was seeking wisdom and understanding...
but you've shown me,
those heavenly gifts are only given to the humble. the "little ones" at heart, the pure in heart.
the more wisdom and understanding i want,
the deeper in humility i need to dive.
the more authority i want in praying,
the more wisdom, the more power i want in my prayers,
the more humble i need to be...
Humble King,
only you know the way to my heart.
your silence did not mean your absence.
you did not want me to give up.
you wanted me to simply pray as a child, as your child,
asking for her Father's Glory to fall down on her and those around her.
thank you, that you don't give up on me.
that you are willing to discipline me in your silence,
and grow me. teach me. humble me. love me.
keep me humble, Lord.
in my prayers... in my conversations.. in my thoughts.
and may these prayers, conversations, and thoughts honor you.
may my living, may my life honor you, Jesus.
in Jesus' Name i pray.
Amen.
his mom sits on his right. and his dad sits on his mom's right.
i thought, wow.. he's so young (looks 8?) but he wakes up early on saturday to come with his parents.
how cute, he's leaning on his mom. he looks tired. he looks bored. aw, he looks miserable.
all these thoughts run across my mind. i unconsciously judge this child.
this saturday morning,
i was tired.
and tired for good reason:
all-night prayer and scripture reading.
i thought i had prayed enough.
but i didn't feel relief.
went through a list of names and faces in my head.
i remembered what i read from proverbs.
wisdom, yes. understanding, yes.
humility before honor, yes.
humility comes with wisdom, yes.
ok. what now?
frustrated, confused, disappointed almost,
i close my eyes and remember the morning message:
luke 18. don't give up praying. be persistent. don't give up.
i sat with my eyes closed.
wondering what to pray for next,
and i hear a familiar melody,
one that's been ringing in my heart since mexico:
"Shekinah Glory fall down...."
i lean forward, trying to make sure i didn't make that up..
didn't want to force a melody... it's probably another song, similar lyrics.
"..... Shekinah Glory fall down...."
i reach for my glasses and look in front of me.
in fervent prayer, rocking in his chair, eyes squeezed so tightly,
the boy.
it's the little boy, who i thought must be miserable coming here on a saturday morning,
asking for Shekinah Glory to fall down.
"here we are standing in your presence,
here we are standing in your presence,
Shekinah Glory fall down...
Shekinah Glory fall down..."
how does he even know this song?
i sing along with him in between my tears.
the first tears i've shed during this all-night prayer meeting that almost felt...dry.
just an hour before, my tongue was spitting out all these words.
but all i was getting/feeling was silence.
but as i thanked God for this little brother and blessed him,
God started to speak to my heart.
i started remembering all the prayers i screamed to God,
asking that we may be the generation that seeks His face.
i thank God...
for humbling me.
i ask for forgiveness for judging the boy,
for judging the generation that is rising to seek His face, O God of Jacob.
i hear the boy praying,
"not me, Lord. not me, God.
i don't want to be glorified. it's You. it's all about You.
You have to be glorified..."
i'm smiling like crazy at this point,
almost laughing..
and crying at the same time.
only God can make you do that.
only He can make you feel all those crazy emotions at once...
and then i realize...
He just wanted me to ask simple prayers.
simple, bold prayers.
for His Glory to be revealed and fall down in every person, area of my life.
in this church, in the missions field, in the world...
for Shekinah Glory to fall down....
man.
thank You again for humbling me, God.
i was reading all these proverbs and wise sayings.
i was seeking wisdom and understanding...
but you've shown me,
those heavenly gifts are only given to the humble. the "little ones" at heart, the pure in heart.
the more wisdom and understanding i want,
the deeper in humility i need to dive.
the more authority i want in praying,
the more wisdom, the more power i want in my prayers,
the more humble i need to be...
Humble King,
only you know the way to my heart.
your silence did not mean your absence.
you did not want me to give up.
you wanted me to simply pray as a child, as your child,
asking for her Father's Glory to fall down on her and those around her.
thank you, that you don't give up on me.
that you are willing to discipline me in your silence,
and grow me. teach me. humble me. love me.
keep me humble, Lord.
in my prayers... in my conversations.. in my thoughts.
and may these prayers, conversations, and thoughts honor you.
may my living, may my life honor you, Jesus.
in Jesus' Name i pray.
Amen.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
more, Lord.
i want to see more of Your glory, Glorious One.
Your glory is already here; nothing can contain it.
give me the eyes, the boldness to see...
show me Your Glory:
i see the cloud, i step in
i want to see Your glory as Moses did
flashes of light, rolls of thunder
i'm not afraid,
im not afraid
show me Your glory, show me Your glory
show me Your glory, show me Your glory
i'm awed by Your beauty, lost in Your eyes
i want to walk in Your presence like Jesus did
Your glory surrounds me and I'm overwhelmed
i long to look on the face of the One that i love
long to stay; in Your presence is where i belong
Your glory is everywhere,
Your spirit fills the air.
rest on me, Holy Spirit.
may i be a kind, gentle, faithful host to your presence.
in Jesus' Name.
AMEN.
Your glory is already here; nothing can contain it.
give me the eyes, the boldness to see...
show me Your Glory:
i see the cloud, i step in
i want to see Your glory as Moses did
flashes of light, rolls of thunder
i'm not afraid,
im not afraid
show me Your glory, show me Your glory
show me Your glory, show me Your glory
i'm awed by Your beauty, lost in Your eyes
i want to walk in Your presence like Jesus did
Your glory surrounds me and I'm overwhelmed
i long to look on the face of the One that i love
long to stay; in Your presence is where i belong
Your glory is everywhere,
Your spirit fills the air.
rest on me, Holy Spirit.
may i be a kind, gentle, faithful host to your presence.
in Jesus' Name.
AMEN.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
everyday is Easter
Easter: Echoes from the Tomb
by George Guthrie
by George Guthrie
Leaning forward, you strain to hear. The fresh, cool breeze of the garden morning brushes your cheek. Bending, you look into that open, black-dark mouth of the tomb, its only light the sun’s thin finger reaching past your shoulder to touch the corner of a bone box. But the bones for which it waits have changed, gotten up and walked away. No smell of death; only the sweet scent of burial spices hanging in the air.
Bouncing off the walls of this vacated tomb, you may hear echoes from another garden where the lie, “Has God really said?” prevailed, and death was ushered in. But now, in this garden the lie has been silenced with a resounding, “Yes!! His Word lives!” and death has been driven out, the curse of Eden swallowed up in this empty space.
And do you hear the echo of righteous Noah, who built a deliverance to carry God’s creations through the judgment, or Father Abraham, through whom all the peoples of the earth would be blessed? Do you hear the echoes of Egypt’s oppressive slavery turned inside-out in powerful salvation, and at its peak an innocent lamb slain so that death would pass over? Do you hear the echo of new life found through parting waters, or of bread, water, and the Shekinah tent given in a wilderness? Do you hear the death-dealing law, unable to give life, at once fulfilled and filled full by the Life? Do you hear these echoes?
As you now kneel on this rough-hewn path leading into where Hope was dead for a moment, do you hear Joshua’s name, bouncing ’round these walls, the same name as “Yeshua,” “Jesus,” whose very name shouts “Salvation!”? Walls have crumbled. Evil has been judged, banished from the land. Joshua led God’s people to a promised place, a place flowing with all good things, as does now his namesake, who takes us to a promised rest harder bought. And the chaos of Judges too rings through this darkened grave, its “every man did what was right in his own eyes” now crushed under a staggering obedience, one Man having done what was right to give us new hearts, making us right with God.
King David’s words, “You will not allow your Holy One to see decay,” hang in this sweet air, and His Son, the ultimate Man, the ultimate King, receives the coronation song and, finally, dominion of the world and of a different kind of Kingdom. And this Easter tomb, having become a temple of sorts, housing God, echoes with the words of blessing over Solomon’s temple, its walls now torn down but built up in flesh and bone, stone by stone, to go walking through the world, taking the Light of the Gospel, the Presence, to all the black corners of the earth. The temple decisively cleansed by one Offering, the Great High Priest intercedes, never to offer another sacrifice, the way into the holiest place forever opened by His trail-blazing life.
Here too, in this now-hollow crypt ring full the words of Isaiah, “On this mountain … He will destroy death forever,” and Jeremiah’s “they will all know Me,” and do you hear Ezekiel’s bones rattle with hope? Exile having been exiled, this now is the true return, the Kingdom come, God’s people ruled by one ever-living King.
A baby’s cry, warbling out from a dusty trough, warbles here too, for the birth of Salvation always was leading to death, thus to this place. Vulnerability led to and ended here. The Jordan with open sky and loving Voice, the temptation to bow down, gain dominion, and avoid the terrible fate, and the transfiguration, shining and telling of his Exodus — events that all anticipate this shaking of the earth, this shattering of our assumptions. Echoed in every inch of this tomb are Love’s words, “no greater love,” and Love’s power that shushed a storm and raised a child. You hear them here in this cavernous glory.
And now you turn looking from this garden to the outpouring, the Spirit come, and to the church spreading down the ages, and to those who die in Hope, and you see us. For all these echoes from the Easter tomb, you realize, are our Story, and we, at the mouth of this conquered grave, stand at the center of His Story.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
five days later
my brother got married five days ago, last saturday, july 21.
last week, around this time, i was having a minor freak attack because of this crazy migraine i was having. the back of the right side of my head was throbbing like no other with occasional sharp pains and a cold sensation, as if someone massaged some tiger balm onto my scalp. the scaredy-cat i am and after reading one too many yahoo Q&A threads, i thought i had to go to the ER. worse, i thought i was going to ruin the wedding celebrations.
nope, not at all. praise the Lord.
with patience and trust that my migraine would go away, it disappeared after i finally had a banana.
i think i was lacking nutrients like iron and potassium.
anyway, the wedding went by so fast. but i remember the thoughts i had during the wedding so clearly. while she was walking down the aisle, when the newlyweds hugged their parents...
i remember thinking that nothing is our own. we come and leave empty-handed.
i cannot even take my husband or wife to heaven. as much as i vow that i will stick with him/her and never leave him/her... i go to heaven alone. my soul stands alone.
depressing? not really...
my soul stands alone... in Jesus.
pastor chi stressed the the solution to every marriage is death.
we are only married to Christ by death, His death.
in the same way, we can only be married together by dying with Christ.
when we die with Christ, we also live with Christ.
above all, we love with Christ.
i know my brother and jenn will live fun, happy, victorious, beautiful lives because they live in Jesus, and Jesus lives in them.
my favorite moment of the wedding was when the two took communion together at the altar.
becoming one, and one, in Christ.
and now, five days later, recovering from a summer cold, i am preparing to go to mexico.
i've been preparing to go to mexico.
but now, i am packed and ready to go.
i am not going to worry or think about anything while i'm in mexico.
i'm not going to worry about my dad, my mom, my brother, Jenn, my future husband, my job, etc.
i probably still will.
point is, i don't want to because i only want to worry about God. are you speaking to me, God? am i being obedient to you, God? am i listening, God? are you listening, God? are you happy, God? are you sad, God? should i pray for that person, God? should i say this, God?
worry probably isn't the right word. consumed? obsessed? overwhelmed? crazy?
whatever the word, God knows what i'm feeling.
i'm tired exhausted grumpy moody pms-y and many other things...
but God still loves me..
and i want to be wrecked for Him..
i am not ready for mexico at all..
but this makes me very sure that God is going to use me
because i will not be able to doubt His power, His grace, His joy, His love in me.
thank You, Lord...
You alone are faithful..
You alone are good!
love,
ashley
last week, around this time, i was having a minor freak attack because of this crazy migraine i was having. the back of the right side of my head was throbbing like no other with occasional sharp pains and a cold sensation, as if someone massaged some tiger balm onto my scalp. the scaredy-cat i am and after reading one too many yahoo Q&A threads, i thought i had to go to the ER. worse, i thought i was going to ruin the wedding celebrations.
nope, not at all. praise the Lord.
with patience and trust that my migraine would go away, it disappeared after i finally had a banana.
i think i was lacking nutrients like iron and potassium.
anyway, the wedding went by so fast. but i remember the thoughts i had during the wedding so clearly. while she was walking down the aisle, when the newlyweds hugged their parents...
i remember thinking that nothing is our own. we come and leave empty-handed.
i cannot even take my husband or wife to heaven. as much as i vow that i will stick with him/her and never leave him/her... i go to heaven alone. my soul stands alone.
depressing? not really...
my soul stands alone... in Jesus.
pastor chi stressed the the solution to every marriage is death.
we are only married to Christ by death, His death.
in the same way, we can only be married together by dying with Christ.
when we die with Christ, we also live with Christ.
above all, we love with Christ.
i know my brother and jenn will live fun, happy, victorious, beautiful lives because they live in Jesus, and Jesus lives in them.
my favorite moment of the wedding was when the two took communion together at the altar.
becoming one, and one, in Christ.
and now, five days later, recovering from a summer cold, i am preparing to go to mexico.
i've been preparing to go to mexico.
but now, i am packed and ready to go.
i am not going to worry or think about anything while i'm in mexico.
i'm not going to worry about my dad, my mom, my brother, Jenn, my future husband, my job, etc.
i probably still will.
point is, i don't want to because i only want to worry about God. are you speaking to me, God? am i being obedient to you, God? am i listening, God? are you listening, God? are you happy, God? are you sad, God? should i pray for that person, God? should i say this, God?
worry probably isn't the right word. consumed? obsessed? overwhelmed? crazy?
whatever the word, God knows what i'm feeling.
i'm tired exhausted grumpy moody pms-y and many other things...
but God still loves me..
and i want to be wrecked for Him..
i am not ready for mexico at all..
but this makes me very sure that God is going to use me
because i will not be able to doubt His power, His grace, His joy, His love in me.
thank You, Lord...
You alone are faithful..
You alone are good!
love,
ashley
Thursday, July 12, 2012
cocoon phase
being still
hanging on
hanging tight
even though it feels confined
suffocating
backwards
confusing
being still
hanging on
hanging tight
because i know i'm wrapped
in His arms
in His arms
everything is light and secure
hanging on
hanging tight
even though it feels confined
suffocating
backwards
confusing
being still
hanging on
hanging tight
because i know i'm wrapped
in His arms
in His arms
everything is light and secure
there's a cry in my heart
there's a cry in my heart
for Your glory to fall
for Your presence to fill up my senses
there's a yearning again
a thirst for discipline
a hunger for things that are deeper
could You take me beyond?
coud You carry me through?
if i open my heart?
could i go there with you?
for i've been here before
but i know there's still more
oh, Lord, i need to know You
for what do i have
if i don't have You, Jesus?
what in this life
could mean any more?
You are my rock
You are my glory
You are the Lifter of my head
Monday, July 9, 2012
slave for Freedom
these verses from 1 cor. 9 stood out to me:
though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible...
To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.
how sweet and victorious
is the freedom i have
to declare and be
a slave for Jesus, who is Freedom.
i search for You, God of strength
i bow to You in my brokenness
and no other king could have so humbly come
to save my soul and heal my heart
i have nothing more
than all You offer me
there is nothing else
that's of worth to me
and i love You, Lord You rescued me
You are all that i want You're all i need
in Your freedom i will live, in Your freedom i will live
i offer devotion, i offer devotion
and no other king could have so humbly come
to save my soul and heal my heart
i have nothing more
than all You offer me
there is nothing else
that's of worth to me
and i love You, Lord You rescued me
You are all that i want You're all i need
in Your freedom i will live, in Your freedom i will live
i offer devotion, i offer devotion
encouraging prayer
a random brother's prayer from yesterday's worship service still lingers on my heart.
he said something like, "a lot of times we pretend You aren't good but in an instant, You show that you are. in an instant, we know You are good."
then he said, "allow us to remember You are always in control. never once were You not in control. not even for a second..for you are the Beginning and the End..."
thanks, brother! whoever you are.. (my eyes were closed, and i don't know anyone at this church..)
God bless you and your prayers... i was berry blessed.
in Jesus' name.
AMEN.
he said something like, "a lot of times we pretend You aren't good but in an instant, You show that you are. in an instant, we know You are good."
then he said, "allow us to remember You are always in control. never once were You not in control. not even for a second..for you are the Beginning and the End..."
thanks, brother! whoever you are.. (my eyes were closed, and i don't know anyone at this church..)
God bless you and your prayers... i was berry blessed.
in Jesus' name.
AMEN.
show Your power
haven't heard this song in a while: show Your power
for our inheritance give us the lost
Friday, July 6, 2012
Thursday, July 5, 2012
morning
it's been on my heart to go to prayer mountain.
i hope i have a chance to go before mexico.
a lot of healing is needed everywhere i go.
my family, my cousins, my friends, random people i meet, strangers...
especially myself
being still and knowing that God is with me has been a blessing
but it's given me time to really examine those around me and my heart
i think that's why i've kinda been in mourning mode
i've been seeing how cursed and doomed weare were
the depth, the root of our sin, our unbelief.
when we ate of the tree of knowledge of good and evil with adam and eve,
we became forever cursed by knowing good and evil (the law) but were unable to experience and know the greatest good, the only good, that is God. goodness comes from God alone for He alone is good.
but He's redeemed us from the curse of it all, allowing us to believe in His goodness again.
again and again. day by day. moment by moment. step by step. tear after tear. thought after thought.
the joy of the Lord, my Redeemer, is my strength
the Reason i wake up
as i was praying this morning, i realized how confused we are.
we do not know what is good or bad. we confuse good for bad and bad for good.
it's the worst when we mistake God's goodness for bad
or just forget His goodness altogether.
so when i see my parents half-heartedly trusting God when He's given them the ultimate chance to display radical faith
when i listen to my cousin's struggle with loneliness, suicide
when i get cussed out by a stranger whose first impression was nice
i get sad and tired. weary. burdened.
i don't have any good in me, either.
i am quick to doubt, judge, anger
prone to disbelief..
but i'm thankful that in the midst of this faith-examining time, God has granted me a quiet, mourning spirit because ultimately i mourn because i know God is good, and only He can make our burdens light and beautiful.
God is so good. even his "bad" is better than our best just as "the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength." (1 cor. 1:25)
yet He is patient with us. Love is so patient and so kind. He uses our worst and transforms it to His best.
but we complain so much when we don't see the good... in these times,
may we learn to focus on the only good thing, only Good One, who is God,
and rejoice.
i hope i have a chance to go before mexico.
a lot of healing is needed everywhere i go.
my family, my cousins, my friends, random people i meet, strangers...
especially myself
being still and knowing that God is with me has been a blessing
but it's given me time to really examine those around me and my heart
i think that's why i've kinda been in mourning mode
i've been seeing how cursed and doomed we
the depth, the root of our sin, our unbelief.
when we ate of the tree of knowledge of good and evil with adam and eve,
we became forever cursed by knowing good and evil (the law) but were unable to experience and know the greatest good, the only good, that is God. goodness comes from God alone for He alone is good.
but He's redeemed us from the curse of it all, allowing us to believe in His goodness again.
again and again. day by day. moment by moment. step by step. tear after tear. thought after thought.
the joy of the Lord, my Redeemer, is my strength
the Reason i wake up
as i was praying this morning, i realized how confused we are.
we do not know what is good or bad. we confuse good for bad and bad for good.
it's the worst when we mistake God's goodness for bad
or just forget His goodness altogether.
so when i see my parents half-heartedly trusting God when He's given them the ultimate chance to display radical faith
when i listen to my cousin's struggle with loneliness, suicide
when i get cussed out by a stranger whose first impression was nice
i get sad and tired. weary. burdened.
i don't have any good in me, either.
i am quick to doubt, judge, anger
prone to disbelief..
but i'm thankful that in the midst of this faith-examining time, God has granted me a quiet, mourning spirit because ultimately i mourn because i know God is good, and only He can make our burdens light and beautiful.
God is so good. even his "bad" is better than our best just as "the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength." (1 cor. 1:25)
yet He is patient with us. Love is so patient and so kind. He uses our worst and transforms it to His best.
but we complain so much when we don't see the good... in these times,
may we learn to focus on the only good thing, only Good One, who is God,
and rejoice.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
h-ache
being home has been strange and a little painful.
it's been hard for me to be gentle.
tired of hearing, seeing lies. whines.
there is nothing i can do but focus on the only thing, only one that i know and believe
is truly truly truly Truth.
the only thing i can fully defend, call truly mine and truly true is my salvation in You.
i felt so confined that i ran and stared at the night. the trees. the moon.
i felt free, remembering how vast is Your glory, God.
that you know my heart, understand me, remember me.
and this song played, soothing my overwhelmed soul:
If my heart is overwhelmed and I cannot hear Your voice
I’ll hold on to what is true though I cannot see
If the storms of life they come and the road ahead gets steep
I will lift these hands in faith
I will believe
I remind myself of all that You’ve done
And the life I have because Your Son
Love came down and rescued me
Love came down and set me free
I am Yours, I am forever Yours
Mountain high or valley low
I sing out remind my soul
That I am Yours I am forever Yours
When my heart is filled with hope
and every promise comes my way
When I feel Your hands of grace rest upon me
Staying desperate for You God
Staying humbled at Your feet
I will lift these hands and praise
I will believe
I remind myself of all that You’ve done
And the life I have because Your Son
Love came down and rescued me
Love came down and set me free
I am Yours, I am forever Yours
Mountain high or valley low
I sing out remind my soul
That I am Yours I am forever Yours
I am Yours
I am Yours
All my days
I am Yours
I am Yours, I'm Yours forever
I am Yours, I'm Yours forever
I am Yours, I'm Yours forever Lord
it's been hard for me to be gentle.
tired of hearing, seeing lies. whines.
there is nothing i can do but focus on the only thing, only one that i know and believe
is truly truly truly Truth.
the only thing i can fully defend, call truly mine and truly true is my salvation in You.
i felt so confined that i ran and stared at the night. the trees. the moon.
i felt free, remembering how vast is Your glory, God.
that you know my heart, understand me, remember me.
and this song played, soothing my overwhelmed soul:
If my heart is overwhelmed and I cannot hear Your voice
I’ll hold on to what is true though I cannot see
If the storms of life they come and the road ahead gets steep
I will lift these hands in faith
I will believe
I remind myself of all that You’ve done
And the life I have because Your Son
Love came down and rescued me
Love came down and set me free
I am Yours, I am forever Yours
Mountain high or valley low
I sing out remind my soul
That I am Yours I am forever Yours
When my heart is filled with hope
and every promise comes my way
When I feel Your hands of grace rest upon me
Staying desperate for You God
Staying humbled at Your feet
I will lift these hands and praise
I will believe
I remind myself of all that You’ve done
And the life I have because Your Son
Love came down and rescued me
Love came down and set me free
I am Yours, I am forever Yours
Mountain high or valley low
I sing out remind my soul
That I am Yours I am forever Yours
I am Yours
I am Yours
All my days
I am Yours
I am Yours, I'm Yours forever
I am Yours, I'm Yours forever
I am Yours, I'm Yours forever Lord
Monday, July 2, 2012
luke 1:18-23
오랜만에 하나님께서 내기도를 가까이서 듣는다는걸 느꼈다.
느끼자마자 내모든 기도제목들은 날아가고 오직 하나님의 영광을 위해서 기도하고 감사하고 찬양했다.
왜 내가 지금 이상황에있는지도 잘 알거같아.
잠잠히 있을수밖에없는 상태.
겸손히 집에서 차없이 있을수밖에없는 상태.
많은 생각들이지나가고..
"take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ"이 얼마나 힘든지.
지금 내환경을 보지말고 오직 하나님의 말씀. 어느 상황속에서도 절대로 변치않은 하나님의 말씀만 바라보라는 시간, 훈련.
오늘 아침엔 누가복음에 사가랴가의 모습이 내모습 비추었다.
벙어리가 되는 아픔...믿음의 말을 못하고, 의심하는 말들이 나오니까...하늘에서 그말들을 막아주시고, 잠시 9개월 정도 벙어리가된 사가랴가. 배부른 아내의 모습을보며 얼마나 답답하고 미안하고 또 고마워했을까? 얼마나 기도했을까? 무지 감사했겠지...벙어리된 아픔은 성렁님을 듣기 위하여..
teach me, Holy Spirit, more about You.
느끼자마자 내모든 기도제목들은 날아가고 오직 하나님의 영광을 위해서 기도하고 감사하고 찬양했다.
왜 내가 지금 이상황에있는지도 잘 알거같아.
잠잠히 있을수밖에없는 상태.
겸손히 집에서 차없이 있을수밖에없는 상태.
많은 생각들이지나가고..
"take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ"이 얼마나 힘든지.
지금 내환경을 보지말고 오직 하나님의 말씀. 어느 상황속에서도 절대로 변치않은 하나님의 말씀만 바라보라는 시간, 훈련.
오늘 아침엔 누가복음에 사가랴가의 모습이 내모습 비추었다.
벙어리가 되는 아픔...믿음의 말을 못하고, 의심하는 말들이 나오니까...하늘에서 그말들을 막아주시고, 잠시 9개월 정도 벙어리가된 사가랴가. 배부른 아내의 모습을보며 얼마나 답답하고 미안하고 또 고마워했을까? 얼마나 기도했을까? 무지 감사했겠지...벙어리된 아픔은 성렁님을 듣기 위하여..
teach me, Holy Spirit, more about You.
Jesus is my aloe vera
i had this weird rash on my upper lip and the area between my upper lip and nose since i was in bolivia. it would get better and worse depending on the weather or which ointment i used. i never used so much chapstick, vaseline in mi vida. i also saw the doctor twice, but nothing really helped. if anything, the medication thinned my skin, discolored my lip and made the mysterious irritation worse.
since i came home i've been applying fresh, real, goo-ey, sticky, thick, cool aloe vera on my lips. (you know, the real kind of aloe vera. not the korean aloe drink, which tastes nuhhhhthing like fresh aloe vera that can make you gag if you try to swallow a small chunk of it.)
and now, my unknown irritation is almost... gone.
aloe vera is a great plant.
i would want a small pot of aloe vera over a huge bouquet of flowers.
it's long-lasting, pretty green, easy to take of...
since i was little, aloe vera has helped with my sunburns, my-easily-could-have-been-harry-potter scar, my mysterious stomach illness, my skin...
i realize vera is a beautiful name for a girl.
"verá" in spanish means "she will see."
anyway, just wanted to thank God for aloe vera.
You are my aloe vera.
since i came home i've been applying fresh, real, goo-ey, sticky, thick, cool aloe vera on my lips. (you know, the real kind of aloe vera. not the korean aloe drink, which tastes nuhhhhthing like fresh aloe vera that can make you gag if you try to swallow a small chunk of it.)
and now, my unknown irritation is almost... gone.
aloe vera is a great plant.
i would want a small pot of aloe vera over a huge bouquet of flowers.
it's long-lasting, pretty green, easy to take of...
since i was little, aloe vera has helped with my sunburns, my-easily-could-have-been-harry-potter scar, my mysterious stomach illness, my skin...
i realize vera is a beautiful name for a girl.
"verá" in spanish means "she will see."
anyway, just wanted to thank God for aloe vera.
You are my aloe vera.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
cansada
i'm so tired.
but you discipline those you love.
so hallelujah.
in my tiredness, i can declare hallelujah.
hallelujah for that.
thank you, Jesus, that you don't tire of me and my tiredness.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
22
today seemed very short.
or yesterday.
happy belated birthday to me.
thank you God for creating me.
and thank you for my mom and her womb.
and thank you for saving me. redeeming me.
so i can praise you freely, without fear.
for teaching me that perfect, perfect, perfect Love drives out all fear.
thank you.
i didn't tell you thank you enough today.
my every breath is a "thank you" to you.
and you made that possible, too.
i want to love you and know you more.
know you and love you more.
in Jesus name.
AMEN.
or yesterday.
happy belated birthday to me.
thank you God for creating me.
and thank you for my mom and her womb.
and thank you for saving me. redeeming me.
so i can praise you freely, without fear.
for teaching me that perfect, perfect, perfect Love drives out all fear.
thank you.
i didn't tell you thank you enough today.
my every breath is a "thank you" to you.
and you made that possible, too.
i want to love you and know you more.
know you and love you more.
in Jesus name.
AMEN.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
to know You
is my desire.
Jesus says, "ask, and it shall be given you."
ask God for what you want, and you cannot ask if you are asking for a right thing.
when you draw near to God, you cease from asking for things.
"your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask Him."
then why ask?
that you may get to know Him...
God always ignores the present perfection for the ultimate perfection.
He is not concerned about making you blessed and happy just now;
He is working out His ultimate perfection all the time —
"that they may be one even as We are."
-my utmost for His Highest; apr. 27
AMEN.
Jesus says, "ask, and it shall be given you."
ask God for what you want, and you cannot ask if you are asking for a right thing.
when you draw near to God, you cease from asking for things.
"your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask Him."
then why ask?
that you may get to know Him...
God always ignores the present perfection for the ultimate perfection.
He is not concerned about making you blessed and happy just now;
He is working out His ultimate perfection all the time —
"that they may be one even as We are."
-my utmost for His Highest; apr. 27
AMEN.
Friday, April 27, 2012
breath of Life
hi bloggie.
i see you got a makeover.
i'm sorry i didn't notice sooner; life goes too fast.
key thought the past few weeks: everything is short. time, joy, suffering...everything is short. that's why we should and can endure and rejoice.
all is short, but God's presence is eternal. Your presence is my reward. Your presence is truly life to me.
Your presence is heaven.
i cry out holy, holy, holy to You in worship.
You cry out holy, holy, holy to me in adoration as Your creation.
when i get it... that it's You in me, You and me
and i in You, i with You
"nothing is impossible"
becomes possible and true.
to believe is do
do-ing = believe-ing
then Truth does the set-freeing joy-giving, faith-firming...
oh me, of little faith.
i am thankful for your faith and your Source of faith.
i am thankful for the faith-Giver, faith-Allow-er, faith-See-er
for only in You is there Hope.
so we must hold on.
and hope.
i trust You see that.
what would i do without You?
just dust. rotting the air.
thanks for breathing Life in me.
i see you got a makeover.
i'm sorry i didn't notice sooner; life goes too fast.
key thought the past few weeks: everything is short. time, joy, suffering...everything is short. that's why we should and can endure and rejoice.
all is short, but God's presence is eternal. Your presence is my reward. Your presence is truly life to me.
Your presence is heaven.
i cry out holy, holy, holy to You in worship.
You cry out holy, holy, holy to me in adoration as Your creation.
when i get it... that it's You in me, You and me
and i in You, i with You
"nothing is impossible"
becomes possible and true.
to believe is do
do-ing = believe-ing
then Truth does the set-freeing joy-giving, faith-firming...
oh me, of little faith.
i am thankful for your faith and your Source of faith.
i am thankful for the faith-Giver, faith-Allow-er, faith-See-er
for only in You is there Hope.
so we must hold on.
and hope.
i trust You see that.
what would i do without You?
just dust. rotting the air.
thanks for breathing Life in me.
Monday, February 20, 2012
only You
it's only You we've wronged
it's only You who can judge
it's only You who can forgive
it's only You who can save
so please, have mercy.
act quickly according to Your deep mercy, infinitely deeper than this pit.
i wait for Your deliverance, Your redemption, Your healing.
i wait only for You to come through, Lord.
because only You can and will.
so i wait, Lord.
psalm 130
out of the depths i cry to you, o Lord;
o Lord, hear my voice.
let Your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.
if You, o Lord, kept a record of sins,
o Lord, who could stand?
but with You there is forgiveness;
therefore you are feared.
i wait for the the Lord, my soul waits,
and in His Word i put my hope.
my soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.
o israel, put your hope in the Lord,
for with the Lord is unfailing love
and with Him is full redemption.
He Himself will redeem israel
from all their sins.
yes, Lord.
in the name of Jesus.
amen, amen, amen.
it's only You who can judge
it's only You who can forgive
it's only You who can save
so please, have mercy.
act quickly according to Your deep mercy, infinitely deeper than this pit.
i wait for Your deliverance, Your redemption, Your healing.
i wait only for You to come through, Lord.
because only You can and will.
so i wait, Lord.
psalm 130
out of the depths i cry to you, o Lord;
o Lord, hear my voice.
let Your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.
if You, o Lord, kept a record of sins,
o Lord, who could stand?
but with You there is forgiveness;
therefore you are feared.
i wait for the the Lord, my soul waits,
and in His Word i put my hope.
my soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.
o israel, put your hope in the Lord,
for with the Lord is unfailing love
and with Him is full redemption.
He Himself will redeem israel
from all their sins.
yes, Lord.
in the name of Jesus.
amen, amen, amen.
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