when people tell me to STOP.
like this morning..
i was explaining myself to someone and she said,
"stop talking."
...
that just makes me want to keep going.
so i tried to explain myself even more and she said,
"stop lying."
cherry on top:
"be true to yourself."
oh man...
i held my tongue.
tried to be the "bigger one."
but that lasted a good 2 seconds because
i stomped up the stairs and yelled,
"i'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO annoyed, God!!!!!!!!"
all around 6:30 in the morning...
the calm before all the rustling and bustling of the day.
i don't like it when man tells me to stop.
my pride..........
my mom....
my freaken pride...
my lovely mom......
how can i love my freaken pride over my lovely mom.
such is man.
but God.
God tells me to keep going. God is the ultimate encourager.
He tells me to go forward, be bold, don't be afraid
speak out, speak up, go, go, go...don't stop. keep talking to me. keep walking. keep your eyes on me. i'm listening. you can complain, but give thanks in all circumstances. don't stop. follow me. have faith. don't stop having faith. don't stop believing. keep fighting...FIGHT! he tells me to FIGHT! he tells me to YELL! he tells me to destroy. he tells me to conquer. he tells me to live life to the full, full volume.
but i whimper. i don't even move.
if i do, i walk one step and immediate look back.
and to the right. to the left.
MAN.
what's wrong with me?
i feel like my PMS-ing goes to a new level every year.
or every month.
so this little rant/revelation may be a result of PMS.
but yea.
that was my morning of november 9.
and i declare that there will be no such mornings like this one in Jesus' Name.
help me, dear Jesus.
quick to hear,
slow to speak, and
slow to anger.
