so many thoughts in my head
brain traffic jam
one thought, one car after another.
nothing is too difficult,
but nothing is easy either.
what is easy?
nothing.
studying for lsats.
begging for money.
construction on sheridan.
nothing's easy.
this life is hard.
i feel like a flickering candle,
whose flame is getting weaker by its own melting wax.
the problem is i. me.
the answer is You. God.
but it's so hard.
it's so hard to live this life.
it's so hard to live it for you.
especially because i want to make sure i'm on the right track.
but that's underestimating your sovereignty and love for me.
it's so hard to live this life with you.
but it's impossible to live this life without you.
so in the end,
everything is hard.
and isn't that why you came?
isn't that why you stepped down into time?
to tear these chains, to break this bondage of time, busyness, worry, fear, money, hate...
so it's during times like these i need to push harder.
it's during times like these i have to take a deep breath, or hold it longer.
close my eyes and just lift up my arms a little higher.
feel the burn, but hold the cross up high and proud, and look up to you.
and remember.
and believe.
and see.
your Love,
your amazing, unfailing, powerful, eternal
Love for me.
cover me in your blood.
empower me with your grace right now.
i am forever grateful.
in Jesus' name,
amen.
