if she can communicate exactly what she is feeling at that moment.
that's why russian lit is so good.
the writers take you into every little thought, emotion the character feels.
ahh i have to read more. and improve my engrish.
but i don't have time to read..and when i do have time, i'd rather read the Bible.
there is this song i have grown to appreciate, love, enjoy.
it's one of those praise songs that people don't really know about.
"here in my life" by hillsong.
i never really paid attention to the song.
if anything, i'd skip to the next song on my youtube playlist.
yes, i have a youtube playlist...is that embarrassing?
i really don't think so...but then i wonder.
anyway.
point is...i love the song now.
it was playing randomly last week while i was sitting at my desk.
and the lyrics caught my ears...for the first time.
and i cried.
i don't know why i cry so much these days.
the thing is...i'm not sad when i cry.
it's the only reaction my body has when i feel the Holy Spirit and His Grace..and Love over me. and my eyes just watered as i typed this.
maybe i'm getting old.
i feel like those dogs who are always teary-eyed.
anyway.
here are the lyrics that squeezed my heart:
You are my freedom
Jesus you’re the reason
I’m kneeling again at Your throne
Where would I be without You
Here in my life, here in my life?
i don't know...
the lyrics just stole the words out of my heart.
i titled this blog "be free" two years ago to remind myself of my freedom in Christ..and to be free and enjoy everyday, every moment, good and bad.
and i know i still have a long way to go..of course i do..
but one thing that Jesus has really taught me..
is the freedom found in Him.
i just took a deep breath and wiped my eyes.
these aren't tears of sadness...
these are tears of gratitude..
that i think have increased since the day i finally understood God's love for me..
and i know the tears will only flow more till i go to heaven.
and then...they will cease forever.
what a long entry.
you know...
i love running...and praying while running.
manna event?
jk...
but man...it sucks seeing people burnt out already.
God, you are the fire in me. so although i may burn out, i trust that you will keep burning. so just remind me that...
and i've been thinking about intentional risk.
those two words are being tossed around way too much it annoys me.
the word intentional is wrong.
the word risk is more wrong.
nothing should have to be intentional.
nothing should have to be a risk.
does anyone get me?????
you can only go out if you have something to give in you.
and when you have the inexplicable something in you..
you can't help but go out.
and it's natural.
and it's not a risk.
it's just natural...you do it because you can't help it.
and it's not a risk...because you're not losing anything.
you're only gaining.
i don't know...i don't mind it...i get that we have to be intentional about sharing You..and of course, it's scary and feels like a risk at times, a lot of times.
i just wish the focus was more on You.
we have to be consumed
from the inside out.
we have to overflow
from the inside out.
out is determined by what's inside.
how can we go out when the people inside...still don't know what's within?
